Brian by Sally I'Anson

I learned about Brian soon after my arrival. A family member had brought him to the hospital a few days earlier and the doctors did not think he would survive more than 3-5 days. He looked to be roughly 10 or 11 years old and suffering from AIDS tuberculosis. Before our dinner I went over to the pediatric unit to introduce myself and make a pipe cleaner and bead bracelet with him. He was lying in bed with a black knit cap on and pajamas with grey bib ski overalls on top. Even with all of his clothing he was painfully emaciated. He had been having trouble keeping his AIDS medication down. However, her had been able to eat a hardboiled egg for dinner so we were both happy about that! I cried myself to sleep that night praying Brian would be alive the next morning. He was! I made a silly red heart out of construction paper and wrote “God Loves You” on the inside along with a picture of a cross and some stickers. We taped it over his bed where he could see it. The next morning I went over to see Brian and we did a Noah’s Ark puzzle and made a leather bracelet with plastic beads made from drinking straws and he showed me a picture he had made for me of a lake and dock located near his home. Later that morning when we went on rounds with the pastoral counselors in the pediatric unit Brian’s bed was empty. I felt bereft and worried that he had required more medical attention and had been moved or worse yet, “gone on to glory”. The student nurses quickly assured me that he was discharged to go home with his father and they were headed over to the Holy Family Center. He was there sitting quietly on a bench while the staff was doing paperwork with the father.  We sat there for a minute together then he followed me around the circle to say “good bye”. We hugged and had our picture taken together.

As I write this I continue to weep for Brian and know that it is not only the jet lag that has kept me from sleeping since I arrived. Despite his infections and frailty, I am overwhelmed with a desire to cuddle and hold Brian in my arms and whisper words of encouragement and hope and share my love and God’s love with him. I am afraid he will be cold or hungry at home without me. Having only known him for three days, I miss him terribly and pray for his healing and peace.

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